unoriginalname38 – the blog of Dave Cole

Donald McTory

I have a confession to make.

I ate at a McDonalds.

Well, I didn't exactly eat so much as have a milkshake, a comestible which is ingested rather than eaten or drunk. It was tired, I was thirsty, so I purchased something from the Devil's own fast food 'restaurant'.

I do find it amusing that they call it a restaurant. Foetid hellhole might be more appropriate, but I'd settle for takeaway or fast food. It is very apt that I put restaurant in inverted commas. The staff all had emblazoned on their shirts 'I'm Lovin' It'. Aside from the bad grammar, making people declare to the world that they're lovin' frying endless batches of fries and make Big Macs for an odd mix of street dwellers, rushed junior management types, young parents desperately trying to shut their kids up and confused tourists seems a bit like making the inmates of Guantanamo have 'I'm Lovin' It' on the back of their jumpsuits.

The person who served me (whose name appeared next to their amorous declaration towards the preparation of Grade Z food confirming, given that I have no interest in the name of another McDrone, my belief that the name badges are solely for forty-year old mothers to complain to the manager that Mohammed gave Tarquin a regular Coke instead of a Diet Coke, which is very bad for his poor, little, grossly engorged tummy) had a look similar to one you often see at LSE and, I suspect, other universities. It is that of tiredness brought on by insufficient sleep and absolutely no rest in site till everything finishes in a few weeks. The difference is that at LSE the look is brought on by the less mindless task of revision (dumping information into your memory only to forget it after regurgitating it in an exam is pretty bloody mindless) and that the LSE crowd wear, for the most part, Gucci and Prada rather than grease stains and Golden Arches. Both stressors will finish in a few weeks, one becuase of the completion of exams and one as soon as they have another (marginally less shite) job, their contract's up or they're fired for not making the burgers in the approved fashion.

You can see a similar version of doublespeak in the Tories' slogan for the current election: are you thinking what we're thinking. It has an unfortunate pedigree, being used by List Pim Fortruyn in Holland and Jean-Marie Le Pen's FN in France in similar guises. I don't actually think the Tories meant to appear accepting of racists but it has caused an almighty double entendre. It is without doubt a product of advertising consultancy (the slogan meaning 'elect us because we think the same' rather than 'elect us because we're both thinking something of which the liberal fascists/balsamic fundamentalists/thought police don't approve.

In both cases, it would have been a good idea to road test the slogan on people who are hostile to the creator or, at least not automatically positively disposed. I suspect that the group to McDonalds and the group opposed to the Tories might overlap to a large degree.

In the meantime...

Are you drinking what we're drinking?

xD.

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